Spot light

With a plastered smile, she sits straight faced looking towards the welcoming stage in anticipation. It was a defining moment for her. All these years of single minded determination and devotion towards achieving that single moment of blissful contentment were to be merited.. She was so blinded by her anxiety and anticipation that the world that kept her rooted became invisible in front of her eyes. She could see the bubbles of excitement float around the black hole trying to find a way through the narrow neck of the hole. A few of them burst out in frustration while some of them kept egging towards the hole. She saw different colors of pressure in front of her and felt a constant push. As reality hit her and the black hole with colorful bubbles vanished, she felt her mother's nudge. Her mother was beaming proudly at her and she looked like she would burst into tears any moment. It was a heartwarming smile and one that she would always cherish and remember before she stepped into the dazzling light.

"I stand a midst all the applause and acknowledging eyes gulping in the feeling of earning myself a name and an identity of my own; the feeling of being recognized. But to my disappointment, I hardly see a known face in the crowd. Things and the way people look at me has changed now. The road to success and recognition comes with a heavy price. A known face wearing a mask of an unknown emotion walks up to congratulate me but now my mind races ahead and I think to myself whether this man is a genuine well wisher or a predator on loose finding a way to attain his own identity and using me as a pawn in his petty game."

Music as I see it.

Music is one way of connecting dots to our memory lane. Music is the best way to connect with your inner self, I believe. Music might bring you peace or destruction. Music could be anything - a chirping bird, the flowing water, the dog barking, lyrics put together into a song, a flute piece, etc. 

For me, music is a library, a library of memories. The songs I hear get registered with certain memories, thoughts or feelings that I was experiencing in that time frame. So certain songs hold a special place in my heart. There are a few songs which remind me of people. I associate people- their behavior, a particular 
incident with them, a particular memory of them with songs.

For me, songs also depict a phase of my life. A song when I have been depressed, a song for all those happy times, for those painful and tearful memories. A goodbye song, a welcome song, a thank you song, hell even a birthday song has meant different to me because I have shared these songs with different people from various different backgrounds at different points of time in my life. Every time a new connotation, a new feeling that for a new song. I can't for go an emotion that i have with a song so it has to be a new song for a new person, thing, memory or an experience. 

Each summer a new song would spin through my head and blare through my headphones.  A song for each season. A season would be too long to define my inclination towards a song. It changed by months, days, hours, seconds. There was never one favorite song but always a few favorites. 

Music is such a strong and a powerful medium of expression. The memory waves that hit you on hearing a song is such a real feeling. Memories linger in the back of my mind and on hearing these songs, they come gushing to me like a soft wind leaving me afresh. 

With love, words.

Words

which light up your eyes

Words that

bring a pout

Words which

makes your eyes roll

But none to depict

the mask of sadness 

that you wear.

Why, I ask 

loathe the birds 

that chirp

Hate the sun 

that shines

Curse the love

that ever brought a smile.

For they say

Grief is beyond pain

Tears more than just water

and happiness more than a smile

But a smile is what you need

What the world needs

The secret medicine

that it is, curing all.

THE LAST LOCAL

The hustle bustle at the Churchgate station had died down by the time I walked into the station. There was a lot of pending work and I had to stay up late to sort out all the mess. By the time i reached the station it was 12:55 in my watch and the station was almost devoid of any life. I could spot a few men waiting for the last local and a Chaiwala making his way to the exit. I stood with my back leaning against a pillar in my blue denims, grey T-shirt that said PHILOSOPHY IS QUESTIONS THAT MAY NEVER BE ANSWERED. RELIGION IS ANSWERS THAT MAY NEVER BE QUESTIONED and a pair of blue trainers to complete the look. I shuffled through the list of songs on my playlist and found my favorite song "VIVA LA VIDA". I put on my green headphones and played the song at full blast. I closed my eyes and the song began. I loved the lyrics of the song. With my eyes closed I sensed a fragrance that was something out of this world. I had never smelt anything so mesmerizing. It was a very unique fragrance. I wanted to open my eyes but my gut wouldn't let me do that. As I stood there mesmerized someone gently touched my hand. The touch was so gentle and soft, it was almost like a caress. I slowly opened my eyes. The next thing I saw was close to a dream. I had never envisaged another prettier being. There was something mysterious in the air. It tasted so sweet and pure.  I had to pinch myself to check if i was awake because the girl who was standing in front of me looked like a dream. She had a complete angelic face. I stared at her blue dreamy eyes and once again i was lost. Her eye lids kept fluttering like a butterfly's wing at regular intervals to hide the blue color of her iris. There was no GARDEN OF EDEN  that could match her beauty.  As my eyes darted away from her eyes, I noticed other facial features of this mysterious woman. A plump nose aligned straight down to her lips. She had full lips painted cherry red suiting her heart shaped face. Her auburn hair blew across her face leaving her disgruntled. She was dressed in a mango green skirt that almost swept the floor and a white tank top with an ed hardy jacket, unusual choice, for a girl i thought. I noticed she was almost on the verge of anorexia as she was so lean that the slightest of the breeze would carry her away. She would have been 25 or something close to that. She was saying something and I couldn't register it at first. Later out of frustration, she plucked out my earphones and gave me the wide eyes bewildered look. She asked in the most exasperated tone'Hey, Mr. I-don't-care-if-a-person-is-talking-to-me-for-hours-but-I-won't-stop-staring-with-my-dumb fuck-expression, would you care to tell me what  time is the last local??
I was abashed. She had caught me off guard. Seeing me turn pink, she chirped in again, "oh gosh, you look like a tomato, I bet more humiliation would make you a beetroot. I believe, I am not going to get any replies here so might as well walk away.' As she turned her back towards me, I yelled "Hey, wait up. The last local is at 1.10 which is like 5minutes from now. Sorry was taken aback by your pretty face." This time she smiled and held out her hand and introduced herself as Lavanya. I shook hands with her and introduced myself as Aarav and asked her where she was headed. She was going to Bandra as well. She asked me about my work and told me about hers but I wasn't paying attention to either of it because I was too busy staring at her eyes that sparkled as she spoke. As we were talking the train steamed into the station. She asked me if I would like to accompany her. I was beaming and I agreed immediately. We got into the train and got window seats opposite each other and we were chatting and the train slowly departed from the station. I just kept praying that the train never reached Bandra and I could spend as much time with this angel as I could. She seemed to be at ease with me. She spoke a lot about her dreams and her ambitions. I was quite sure that by the end of this journey I could write a biography on Ms. Lavanya Sharma. As she spoke the wind would blow across her face and her hair would blow everywhere and she would try settling it but in vain. I asked her if she was seeing anybody to which she replied that she was single but just not ready to mingle yet. I asked her reasons and she gave me vague explanations which i didn't believe was true but i did not want to push her so i left it there. She asked me if i was single and I told her I was and she found it quite hard to believe. she kept saying " Your kidding! No way! your so smart and handsome, any girl would fall for you". I asked her if she would have fallen for me to which she replied quirkily, "Why do you think i asked you for the time out of everybody on the platform?". That startled me again. This girl was sharp and smart. She knew how to play with words and startle a person. I was totally attracted to her. "Agla station Bandra, Next station Bandra", the voice of the annoying lady blared through our compartment. We both got off the train and walked towards the exit. I wanted to ask her for a coffee but I didn't want to come across as a desperate guy so i just waited. I got her a rickshaw and before getting in she said "Hey, nice meeting you Aarav. We should meet up sometime for coffee or something. It was fun today. " Again she stunned me. I asked her if she'd like to share numbers and was more than relieved to see that she dint say a no. So we exchanged numbers and I promised her that I would call her back soon. She said Bye and the rickshaw zoomed off. I stood there like a mad guy in the centre of the road looking at the rickshaw and smiling. This was possibly the best local journey ever. I looked at my phone and saw her number and texted her ""Hey let me know once you reach home and be safe. I had fun today. Thanks.""

TRIBUTE

Eyes that swallow 

thy beauty   

O'lake,

magnificent and serene,

deep contemplation pouring 

out beneath those lashes.

Swans dancing around 

those kohled eyes              

throwing sparks of

shimmering lights

and a million 

unrevealed truths.

3 paintings for that teacher

Even though these 3 paintings are not even close to work of an artist but they are a tribute to my childhood memories. Memories of that teacher who gave me a chocolate <alpenlibe> for every perfect drawing that i made. Earlier in the morning, mom was narrating stories about my childhood. She recollected the memories of those days when i took drawing lessons. The teacher who taught me how to draw lines and then make mountains and a lake was was MRS. CHAUDHARY, i still remember her face. She had a double chin, a round face with cheeks clinging to her wrinkled skin and she was fair. She had a peculiar voice with a very sigh soprano. She was always clad in crisp saris and sleeveless blouses. She used to make me sit on her dining table and instruct me to draw birds and whatever came to my mind. 

She let me dream and conjure up images in my mind which i could reproduce on paper. She pushed me forward to dream big and dream 

Artistic. I could never think of anything beyond four snow clad mountains, a lake that flowed till the bottom of the white paper dividing the paper into two and a hut with birds soaring over its head.

She forced me to think out of the box. Think of new possibilities and new ways to draw the same things but in a different manner. Later one 

day i showed her a picture which contained the 4 mountains, only this time they were on the left hand side corner. the four of them crumpled 

together bearing each others weight and a small lake that could hold the glacial waters just below it. A boat sailed through the lake waters. And the hut was right on top adjacent to the mountains. right below this were birds flying everywhere. I made green grass and a tree with apple and orange clinging its branches and the picture was complete. Only this time i had the same thought but a different way of putting it on sheet. For teaching me those butterflies, those pigeons and my favorite dinosaurs, these paintings would be my token of thanks to you ma'am.

Thank you. 

BIRD TALES

It is 15 past 6 ' 0 clock in the evening. I sit by my window sill with random thoughts flicking through my mind and staring at the unusually round sun which is ready to retire for the day. 

Long gone are those days  when i marveled over the beauty of parrots and pigeons sitting on those crooked brown branches of apple trees, tweeting and chirping gaily. 

Seems like the trees are no more their crash zone for they seem to have taken a fancy to the wires connecting the two tall buildings together more.

 As the skies turn from yellow to faintish orange to purple and finally dissolve into indigo, the birds retreat back home flying past horizons.

An eagle soars through the sky with its wings beating rapidly across its body. The eagle scoops up a dead pigeon and reaches the tree. The chaos then begins. A million birds departing for their nests fly back to visualize the bloody scene. 

Some of them candidly cling to the wires unperturbed by the pandemonium. They perform acrobatics in the sky.They all have condolences to pay for their dead comrade. They are cawing , tweeting, chirping and cooing to sympathize with the deceased.


A BOOM in the atmosphere causes a panic attack. The birds flutter at each other and seek for the sky. In the midst of all this commotion, the eagle rises again after enjoying a scrumptious meal. Sensing all this mayhem, the eagle circles around the flock of birds choosing its prey.